Inside the Labyrinth

The ten of cups

2007-07-29T15:49:00.000+02:00

I found a materialized tarot card, TEN OF CUPS, here in Barcelona. It felt so strange when I found it, first the huge stairs. Its a very symbolic place to me.

When the card comes up, it indicates that life is ordered and fulfilling, that everything is in its proper place, and that things are unfolding as they should. There's a placid sense of happiness here, which should be enjoyed open-heartedly and with a great deal of gratitude.

At the higher spiritual level, this card will often come up to indicate a period of close harmony with the Higher Powers, often after a time of struggle and trial. When this occurs, you will find yourself feeling at one with the Universe, in touch with the energy which flows through it in an unending stream.

What tarot card am I?

2006-12-03T12:54:00.000+01:00

Hierophant (Velekněz)

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Fragments from Franciscan garden

2006-11-18T19:02:00.000+01:00

Praha

2006-07-09T11:33:00.000+02:00

Living in yellow

2006-06-30T17:54:00.000+02:00

Quiet companion who knows - wanted for tea in two

2006-06-16T16:00:00.000+02:00

2006-05-11T10:49:00.000+02:00

satirikon took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Needs to feel identified with someone or something..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Il n´y a pas d´amour heureux

2006-03-14T11:21:00.000+01:00

J ai retrouvé cette poem, je la publie ici pour ne pas le perdre de nouveau.
texte - Louis Aragon, musique (ecoutez un sample) - Georges Brassens

Rien n'est jamais acquis à l'homme ni sa force
Ni sa faiblesse ni son cœur et quand il croit
Ouvrir ses bras son ombre est celle d'une croix
Et quand il croit serrer son bonheur il le broie
Sa vie est un étrange et douloureux divorce
Il n'y a pas d'amour heureux

Sa vie elle ressemble à ces soldats sans armes
Qu'on avait habillés pour un autre destin
A quoi peut leur servir de ce lever matin
Eux qu'on retrouve au soir désarmés incertains
Dites ces mots ma vie et retenez vos larmes
Il n'y a pas d'amour heureux

Mon bel amour mon cher amour ma déchirure
Je te porte dans moi comme un oiseau blessé
Et ceux-là sans savoir nous regardent passer
Répétant après moi les mots que j'ai tressés
Et qui pour tes grands yeux tout aussitôt moururent
Il n'y a pas d'amour heureux

Le temps d'apprendre à vivre il est déjà trop tard
Que pleurent dans la nuit nos cœurs à l'unisson
Ce qu'il faut de malheur pour la moindre chanson
Ce qu'il faut de regrets pour payer un frisson
Ce qu'il faut de sanglots pour un air de guitare
Il n'y a pas d'amour heureux

Václav Hrabě

2006-01-22T11:33:00.000+01:00

BÁSEŇ SKORO NA ROZLOUČENOU

Slunce
překrásný manekýn
se prkenně ukláník západu
Zavírají se
květiny a obchody
a Praha unavená
chválou básníků a svoji
krásou
šediví
soumrakem

Je to tak podivné
co všechno se ti podobá
Je to tak podivné
ta myšlenka že tě můžu ztratit
protože všechno na světě
se neustále mění

Můžu tě ztratit
a zase budou rána
plná cigaret
a bude to svádět
ke krásnému a pompéznímu
smutku

Můžu tě ztratit
a zase budou noci
měsíc vlající na obloze
bude podobný stínu
tvých rozpuštěných vlasů
nebudu moci spát a budu
nenávidět
klasiky
Můžu tě ztratit
A pak bude snad nejvhodnější
svést to na dialektiku

Ano
to všechno se může stát
Ale nikdy už neztratím
všecky ty lehkomyslné
nevychované a pravdivé
děti naší lásky
všecko to co nejde vyhandlovat
v Tuzexu
nabiflovat přes noc
získat protekcí
úsměvem
Touhu a odvahu
nečekat až se život převalí
kolem jako baráčnický
průvod
nedat se zlákat
štěstím
které padne a sluší
nebýt tu zbytečně
nejíst tu zadarmo chleba
Uvidět ráno u Vltavy divoké koně
Vyjmenovat své lásky
a bude-li třeba
nechat se zabít
pro ně

2005-08-14T15:43:00.000+02:00

"everything is for the best in this best of all possible worlds"

Candide, Voltaire

Kahlil Gibran

2005-08-09T17:24:00.000+02:00

The Prophet

going to town

2005-08-09T11:41:00.000+02:00

to see my favourite film
but there is romantic happy end!
and to date some pensioners at the 13,30 broadcasting
to walk
and then who knows..

(..maybe i ll meet an angel)

Looking for stabililty

2005-08-08T15:06:00.000+02:00

i spent the first half of the day building..
/\

/\/\

/\/\/\

/\/\/\/\

/\/\/\/\/\

/\/\/\/\/\/\

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/houses of cards. its good for patience and at least you see some results.
:-)

theravada links

2005-07-18T10:19:00.000+02:00

Buddha Educational Foundation - dhamma material, publications and talks to download
Theravada- dhamma talks- Ajahn Brahmavamso and others
Website of Bhante Sujiva
Essential theravada writings online

Taking a retreat

2005-06-30T15:51:00.000+02:00

The first quarter of summer I will spend in meditation.Going for a vipassana retreat to the mountains.For encouradgment I take two books and my self.I ll be thinking of you.

1

2

Why

2005-05-26T20:27:00.000+02:00

do I insist on perfect moments?

Harmony, like a following breeze at sea, is the exception.
Harvey Oxenhorm

Jacques Brel

2005-05-16T09:33:00.000+02:00

Yesterday I listened to Brel after longer time, and im posting lyrics to L ivrogne = drunkenness, though for "friends of French language only":) . If you insist, I will translate it into English, when I have time.

L ivrogne

Ami remplis mon verre-Encore un et je vas-Encore un et je vais-Non je ne pleure pas-Je chante et je suis gai-Mais j'ai mal d'être moi-Ami remplis mon verre-Ami remplis mon verre

Buvons à ta santé-Toi qui sais si bien dire-Que tout peut s'arranger-Qu'elle va revenir-Tant pis si tu es menteur-Tavernier sans tendresse-Je serai saoul dans une heure-Je serai sans tristesse

Buvons à la santé-Des amis et des rires-Que je vais retrouver-Qui vont me revenir-Tant pis si ces seigneurs-Me laissent à terre-Je serai saoul dans une heure-Je serai sans colère

Ami remplis mon verre-Encore un et je vas-Encore un et je vais-Non je ne pleure pas-Je chante et je suis gai-Mais j'ai mal d'être moi-Ami remplis mon verre-Ami remplis mon verre

Buvons à ma santé-Que l'on boive avec moi-Que l'on vienne danser-Qu'on partage ma joie-Tant pis si les danseurs-Me laissent sous la lune-Je serai saoul dans une heure-Je serai sans rancune

Buvons aux jeunes filles-Qu'il me reste à aimer-Buvons déjà aux filles-Que je vais faire pleurer-Et tant pis pour les fleurs-Qu'elles me refuseront-Je serai saoul dans une heure-Je serai sans passion

Ami remplis mon verre-Encore un et je vas-Encore un et je vais-Non je ne pleure pas-Je chante et je suis gai-Mais j'ai mal d'être moi-Ami remplis mon verre-Ami remplis mon verre

Buvons à la putain-Qui m'a tordu le cœur-Buvons à plein chagrin-Buvons à pleines pleurs-Et tant pis pour les pleurs-Qui me pleuvent ce soir-Je serai saoul dans une heure-Je serai sans mémoire

Buvons nuit après nuit-Puisque je serai trop laid-Pour la moindre Sylvie-Pour le moindre regret-Buvons puisqu'il est l'heure-Buvons rien que pour boire-Je serai bien dans une heure-Je serai sans espoir

Ami remplis mon verre-Encore un et je vas-Encore un et je vais-Non je ne pleure pas-Je chante et je suis gai-Tout s'arrange déjà-Ami remplis mon verre-Ami remplis mon verre-Ami remplis mon verre

Emily Dickinson

2005-05-14T11:08:00.000+02:00

Due to my new friend, I discovered Emily Dickinson. Original is the best but sometimes complicated, so here in English-Czech version:

SPLIT the lark and you ’ll find the music,
Bulb after bulb, in silver rolled,
Scantily dealt to the summer morning,
Saved for your ear when lutes be old.

Loose the flood, you shall find it patent,
Gush after gush, reserved for you;
Scarlet experiment! sceptic Thomas,
Now, do you doubt that your bird was true?

***
Skřivana rozpoltěte - najdete hudbu v něm,
cibulku po cibulce stříbrem obalenou,
lakotně rozdávanou do letního rána,
jak zbyla pro vás, když vám už loutny stárnou.

Povodeň rozpoutejte - hudby je všude plno,
po vlně vlna se jen pro vás valí.
Krvavá zkouška! skeptický Tomáši,
ty ještě pořád nevíš, zda ten pták byl pravý?

The complete poems (I dont think they are) online:
http://www.bartleby.com/113/

On hope and related things

2005-05-05T09:54:00.000+02:00

This book was recommended to me by Kristian, even if earlier I read one chapter online (maybe the whole book exists online). The reason to read this books isnt a state of breakdown, its helpful for any open person in everyday situation. Its wise and not dogmatic. I have to write about it, because finally here I found the explanation of my hope dilemma. During my research on this topic i met different opinions where the majority of people considered hope necessary for life. Of course the problem is more complex too, but this was the only book except one, of this anti-hope advice. Pema Chodron says that the ground thing for the developement of non-theistic mind is to abandon hope in the first place. She says that hope and fear are two parts of the same thing, they bind us instead of freeing us and they advert us from the present moment, make us escape instead of staying and facing a situation. Hope too, can cause quite a lot of pain, it creates conflict and inner fight, when slowing down and relaxing is needed. Some time ago I abandoned hope, I dont say that in a right way, and it seemed that pain alongwith it. One cannot live without pain and suffering, pain exists independently on hope. I noticed one thing last night, when I decided to try out whats spoken in the book. I realized that the key, indeed, to manage mental pain is relaxing and opening to it, clear, but importantly, how she says, to stop inner stories. When you reduce the suffering to a phenomenon of suffering and dont relate it to things from your life, stories, memories, hopes, etc then it wont grow beyond your ability to handle it, in addition, it can give you strenght and feeling of sense, sympathy and understanding. At least thats what I think, thursday morning 9,54 am.

Fernando Pessoa

2005-03-26T12:47:00.000+01:00

I Know, I Alone

I know, I alone

How much it hurts, this heart

With no faith nor law

Nor melody nor thought.

Only I, only I

And none of this can I say

Because feeling is like the sky -

Seen, nothing in it to see.

Tao II

2005-03-18T18:05:00.000+01:00

fool

2005-03-17T09:44:00.000+01:00

if you walk uncommon roads why do you seek common happiness?

"Choose your reality"

2005-03-03T09:38:00.000+01:00

but stay yourself

If there is a path I will walk it

2005-02-25T16:26:00.000+01:00

I must meditate -II-

2005-02-09T11:09:00.000+01:00

On Loneliness

2005-02-07T18:00:00.000+01:00

LD50=? (days/months/years) Vote now! :-)

WANTED! Musical inspiration WANTED!

2005-02-04T19:51:00.000+01:00

Bach Suites for Cello, just listen to the Suite No. 4, S. 1010 In E-Flat Major: Prelude. Infinitely beautiful. I like the pureness of cello, simplicity in developement, controlled passion. And I was just complaining that no music matches my mood! I knew the G-major Suite only. (Listen to samples in amazon.com)

I need advice on classical music, share your likings with me.. I like various composers, but direct tips are needed, because when im blindly trying im often dissatisfied, even when I have refined my searching mode: Artist (), small arrangement- no symphony, not accompanied with orcherstra (violins are exception), no voices, no organ no cemballo, no moderna..

Eliza

2005-02-04T19:20:00.000+01:00

Interesting article on artificial intelligence talking program, that some persons befriended thru emotional attachment, and some psychoterapists liked to substitute with. Program adopting the intelligence of the user. Perhaps a short insight into the psychology of conversation, which captivated me.
Eliza, 1966, Joseph Weizenbaum
HERE

TRY IT YOURSELF, see how it works.

Of course, its an old program, its not perfect. The article by Weizenbaum is not that entertaining and a bit out of date as I noticed, but it is cited in many places and you can read more here too:

http://mmi.tudelft.nl/pub/siska/_TSD%20my_eliza.pdf

http://www.alicebot.org/articles/guest/The%20Unfriendly%20User.html

or compare it with ALICE, improved program. Enjoy.

out of brain

2005-01-22T16:43:00.000+01:00

again? hope not.

Nietzsche (Preface to Human, All Too Human:)

2005-01-18T16:33:00.000+01:00

..Whoever guesses something of the consequences of any deep suspicion, something of the chills and fears stemming from isolation, to which every man burdened with an unconditional difference of viewpoint is condemned, this person will understand how often I tried to take shelter somewhere, to recover from myself, as if to forget myself entirely for a time (in some sort of reverence, or enmity, or scholarliness, or frivolity, or stupidity); and he will also understand why, when I could not find what I needed, I had to gain it by force artificially, to counterfeit it, or create it poetically..(..)
What I always needed most to cure and restore myself, however, was the belief that I was not the only one to be thus, to see thus—I needed the enchanting intuition of kinship and equality in the eye and in desire, repose in a trusted friendship; I needed a shared blindness, with no suspicion or question marks, a pleasure in foregrounds, surfaces, what is near, what is nearest, in everything that has color, skin, appearance..(..)
Thus then, when I found it necessary, I invented once upon a time the "free spirits," to whom this discouragingly encouraging book with the title "Human, All Too Human," is dedicated. There are no such " free spirits" nor have there been such, but, as already said, I then required them for company to keep me cheerful in the midst of evils (sickness, loneliness, foreignness—acedia, inactivity) as brave companions and ghosts with whom I could laugh and gossip when so inclined and send to the devil when they became bores—as compensation for the lack of friends.
http://www.geocities.com/thenietzschechannel/human1.htm

Specific hope filter

2005-01-09T11:21:00.000+01:00

Hope hurts indeed, dont u agree? Hope is struggle, struggle makes strain when one should let go, to be healed, to sustain. In hope, hopelessness is present, its opposite pole. Short termed hope is too often unfulfilled,-isnt hope the same as expectation?; in the long term hope one dont live to see its end, and if not judging during, one can live on its supporting wind. (meanwhile the long-term hope must be recycled:-). Isnt is fiction, to let oneself to be supported by hoping in something which wont happen? One can create million supportive illusions. Isnt truth more important? (Even more than survival?) (see: the border where truth ends and illusion starts)

Here, it may be crucial to form the correct hope. To include specific hope filter. To hope in right things only, which wont let us down. To hope in ones spiritual grow, to hope in perseverance, to hope in ( invisible) sense. But here, doesnt the hope become faith? Certainty instead of expectation.

No one has opinion on hope here? (get included in the survey:)

The Madman - Khalil Gibran (1918)

2004-12-14T10:34:00.000+01:00

..And I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us...

To get lost voluntarily

2004-12-02T10:48:00.000+01:00

I was unwilling to accept solitude. Why should i agree to spend my life alone. To accept something what may not happen, isnt it like closing the door in front of you? To give up voluntarily, the possibility and the hope. Always making troubles, this hope. I always felt that it didnt match, and it wasnt - right. I cannot learn excluding my brain, leave things to teach me and not analyze them; thats confusion, to take any path and Providence? Is not with me yet.

The thing to accept is the feeling of being lost. You see its not that far from the previous, they overlap a bit, which led to confusion. Meanwhile solitude is not, this phenomenon is universal. It originates in the mankind, though it is escaped in abandonning solitude. We struggle to escape it with temporaly success, but when it reappers it harms our relationships, we begin again, more fiercely than before. Accepting to be lost makes us free, in the vastness of it wisdom can breathe, there is freedom and redemption. Im not reconciliated yet, there is struggle, its not a peaceful surrender. It beats me down; because theres more of it, or is it one? Walk on..

Imprint

2004-11-29T20:28:00.001+01:00

Footprint in the mud

old several weeks

the miserable is there still

and i with him

(Kaisen)

going for a zen lecture today

2004-11-28T13:37:00.000+01:00

Zen is not wisdom, zen is reality as it is.

Zen is a way of solitude

To think on your own

To act on your own

To practise on your own

To suffer on your own

Only a brave person can practise zen

Its a way of a warrior with eyes always open and deepening awareness

Exactly so zen doesnt seek love, neither wisdom nor peace

These three gifts are present in our selves

Its enough to be natural, authentic and sincere

(Zen Master Kaisen)

still living the same day

2004-11-27T10:46:00.000+01:00

there is still a barrier
i cannot surmount
i dont know where it is exactly
like a hidden door to open
or do i exactly know
perhaps there is a natural resistance
of the soul
to throw oneself in the pit voluntarily
did u try
or there is no way back
to throw oneself and not to die
of fear and
to stay human

maybe all these tensions subdued struggle resistance
maybe they all drive me there
to make it at last

out of brain

2004-11-27T10:21:00.000+01:00

16.11.-23.11.2004

2004-11-11T11:09:00.000+01:00

one reason why i started to study biochemistry

2004-11-08T19:02:00.000+01:00

http://www.expasy.org/cgi-bin/show_thumbnails.pl

illusions from naive times?

:-)

i must meditate

2004-11-08T08:45:00.000+01:00

(on prejudice)

2004-11-03T18:10:00.000+01:00

(i think that everyone is prejudiced somehow, cos first its not easy to work on a blank-experience model - i.g. not to compose a conjecture but see things always with new eyes and clear judgement; second if u ever want to describe something, and u dont want it to be plain facts only, u cant help an intuitional approach and probably a prejudice either. To describe it to others and to describe it, that is to come to understand it, to urself. I always was aware of this because it constituted possible barrier i saw when come to being objective or truthful about anything. (maybe this looks too trivial to u?) If one wanted to be absolutely truthful it wouldnt be possible for him to form any thought, to say any sentence, he would have to become mute and clear of thoughts. Thats obviously not possibly. So when trying to understand and to judge the world, there is no other way than either to be mistaken or to be purely speculative. Of course no one would listen to you, if u started every sentence with words like: This may be so but may not be either way.. I always like to imagine the extreme of such a talk, resulting in complete certainty-nihilism. Man can nohow eliminate mis-judgement in words. What differs in the wrong and right, is the approach of the individual, and knowledge of the listener, that is not be a slave of own opinions, thoughts and attitudes. And to try to work in the experience-clear model. Not to be prejudiced conciously.I know that i tend to be prejudiced, who doesnt. But since i am aware of it and i try to not to be, i dont think anyone can reproach it to me. Awareness ,effort, and good intent is everything u are right to require from the others same as from yourself. And if you require else, than you are not aware of things. But good communication basically settles everything.)

2004-11-01T08:46:00.000+01:00

2004-10-31T11:30:00.000+01:00

Paul Eluard

2004-10-28T17:00:00.000+02:00

Le tout est de
tout dire
et je manque
de mots
Et je manque de
temps et je
Manque
d´audace

A chance

2004-10-26T15:11:00.000+02:00

Question of a chance as a moving force of evolution ceases to be irreal when you realize that every living organism is, from the informational point of view, just a sequence of 4 letters (A, T, C, G, the bases in the genetic code). Form these letters one way and you obtain a human, form them another way u get a rose. In every cell of the body of a living organism the complete information about the whole organism is present. This what we are isnt but a sequence formed by 4 letters. It can seem few. We know that to describe reality, 2 digits are enough. The binary code describes reality from the outer, it is an aritificial tool. Meanwhile in organisms this code is their intrinsic part, defining them and being worked on, it is a sort of a software of the cell or an organism. Due to mutation at certaing places a new identity is formed (in unicellulars).

The world therefor works on a chance. Form a nuclear acid, and u are not that far from a human. I always believed that a human is just an evolutionary mistake. :-)

God or a chance?

2004-10-25T21:43:00.000+02:00

When u study biochemistry and molecular biology u become to wonder how even one single cell is complicated. How the genetic information is translated and transcribed with all the factors and controlling mechanisms. When just the cytoskeleton gives for a semester course, and i dont stop wondering when seeing deeper into things, asking: have God read all these books? I always believed in evolution as a random try of forms and mechanisms. But how could something that complicated evolve on its own? And God, why would he bother with so complicated inner stucture. Why wouldnt he get satified with outer forms, hollow envelopes holding together and working on a divine force? Maybe life is just a funny projection, but the pre-form, wouldnt have it to be of infinite complexity? Infinite complexity and infinite simplicity....just two parts of another projection of something beyond understanding.

2) Is hope necessary or harming for life?

2004-10-25T21:28:00.000+02:00

The old-new theme of mine. Is hope necessary or harming for life? Where are difference between hope and faith

(Bhante Y. Wimala, Lessons of the lotus:)

Most of all, have faith in yourself, have faith that your spiritual potential can liberate you, and have faith in goodness, happiness, peace and love. Real faith will always be faithful to you.

1) Madness and genius.

2004-10-25T20:44:00.000+02:00

A survey to make. Required: - list of famous personalities (basically artists, philosophers, or scientiets too?) with mental disorders (the work and the disease) – scientific approach (biochemistry of the brain) – personal opinions. Help welcome.

(Hervé Bazin, La tete contre des mur):

Figurez-vous, Gérane, que j ai fait une découverte: le fou de génie n´existe pas. Erreur populaire, consolation pour les famille, légende entretenue par le complexe d´inferiorité de nos collègues. La folie ne fournit aucun état de grâce particulier, n´enrichit pas mais diminue, n´exalte pas mais exacerbe. Les surréalistes ont vainement prétendu le contraire. J´ai examiné tous les cas célebres, établi une statistique. On a confondu: aucun fou de génie, mais beaucoup de génie qui sont devenus fous et qui, dès ce jour, n´ont plus rien produit. Ainsi Comte, Nietzche.. Verlaine ne doit rien à la muse verte. C´est elle qui a tué son talent. Baudelaire syphilitique s´est tu. La folie n´est pas le bouillonement, mais l´ecume de l´inteligence.

Did u ever feel that you were missing someone you had never met?

2004-07-17T15:17:00.000+02:00

Why should it be that the most advanced of people, whose teaching, twisted in religions, last for centuries,why should it be that they have always been alone?
Why never do we see radiant wives or husbands or miracuous equals with whom they share their adventures and their love? They are surrounded by their disciples and their curious, these few we so admire, they´re pressed by those who come to them for healing and light. But how often do we find their soulmates, glorious and powerful beloveds right close by? Sometimes? Once in a while?
I swallowed, throat suddenly dry.
Never.
The most advanced people, I thought, they´re the ones most alone!
The sky turned slow frosty clockwords overhead, uncaring.
Do these perfect ones not have soulmates because they´ve grown beyond human needs?
No answer from blue Vega, shimmering in her harp of stars.

The more enlighten we become, the more we can´t be lived up to by anybody anywhere. The more we learn, the more we d better expect to live by ourselves.

You are never given a wish without also being given the powers to make it true.

(The bridge across forever - Richard Bach)